"Go easy on me"

You:" I'm ready to close my tab.....and go easy on me."

Me: "Go easy on you? I'm not exactly sure what that means?" I DO know what that means, but I really just want you to verbalize it to me in greater depth so that I can just double check the fact that you're an idiot.

You: "Ya know...take it easy on me. I ordered a lot of shots from you so maybe you could hook me up on a few of those."

Me: "Sir, do you go to the check out line in Kroger and ask the cashier to 'go easy on me'?" You cheap fuck. If you don't have enough money to buy the shots.......then don't fucking order them!

You: "Aw, come on. I've worked in a bar before. I know you don't have to ring everything in."

Me: "Well, I'm not the owner of this establishment, sir. Therefore, this is not my alcohol to give away. Just like the Kroger cashier is not going to give you free bread; same concept." There are too many cuss words to insert here that would portray to you the thoughts that are going on in my head. But here's the moral of this unfortunate overly occurring incident: IF YOU WANT SHIT FOR FREE......MOVE BACK INTO YOUR MOTHER'S BASEMENT WHERE YOU BELONG. Don't embarrass yourself by allowing yourself to be put in public settings and situations where you are tempted to ask simpleminded moronic questions. You should stay home, download free apps on your phone, eat your mom's home cooked meals, and ask her for permission that would allow all your friends to come over........so that not one of you are at my bar.



(Just a reminder that I like to throw out........I am not an idiot that thinks this scenario above is a REAL problem. It's trivial and doesn't throw a negative kink into my life in any way shape or form. I just bitch about it on paper so that I can keep a smile on my face when you walk into my bar.)