I am many things in life, good and bad. One of those things happens to entail serving drinks to patrons that view me as "nice, polite, and a great bartender". My bartending skills not only pay for my education and that of my daughter, but they also grant me a poker face unlike no other. I am here to tell you what I really think. And if you don't give a shit, then don't take the time to read this. Pretty simple logic there, folks.
I don't presume to be better than you, more knowledgeable, or even have a better perception on life than you. More than likely, you scored higher on your SAT's than me and you probably use spell check half as much as I do. But I'm not here to educate you. I'm here to tell you that while you're telling me that your "food doesn't taste right" and I'm replying to you, "Oh, I'm so sorry ma'am. Let me get that heated up for you"; I'M REALLY THINKING, "You fucking bitch. If you would have started eating right away and hadn't told your girlfriend your epic tale of how 'Eric' couldn't get his dick hard last night and you think it's because you don't look like the girl in the porno that you caught him watching in his man cave that you so graciously allow him to have, then maybe, just maybe, your food wouldn't be fucking cold! Bitch.”
I will be sharing and posting at least one story a week with you. But let me emphasize one point with you; I am completely and utterly excited to have my job. I love it and I wouldn't do it if I didn't love it. It allows me the flexibility to follow my dreams and it has given me an understanding of people that I couldn't buy or learn in any classroom. I am TRUELY a happy person and by allowing myself to vomit my deep, inner thoughts onto a computer screen, I am relieving all first world stress and it enables me to live the most enjoyable life that I could ever deem possible.
And if you find that you're the person that I'm venting about, I apologize in advance and I have to say I'm really glad I'm not you.
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